It is now a common trend & practice for some brides’ parents to return the dowry back to the grooms’ families during traditional engagement or marriage ceremonies claiming they are not ‘selling’ their daughters but is this practice right? What is the place and importance of dowry in the Bible and in our culture? Should intending husbands accept dowry waiver or refund? Could this have any spiritual implication(s) and connection with the increasingly high rates of divorce as we now see them?
Dowry & bride price are synonymous. It is the way we go about it that differs from place to place but it is biblical & universally accepted that a man must make a sacrifice for the wife he intends to marry. While some people reject it outrightly, others handle it as though selling their daughters away into slavery. Both practices are wrong! Dowry is not a penalty but a sacrificial gift or price given to the bride & her family. It could take several forms. Adam paid the greatest dowry amongst men in that he donated one of his ribs in order to have Eve. His record is only surpassed by Christ who gave His life for His bride – the church. Adam paid dowry (the fact that he was put to sleep not withstanding) in the sense that he made a sacrifice for his wife. Same for Christ who paid the ultimate price for the church! Remember, Eve didn’t have any human parents Adam could have paid to. Anyway, every son of God who wants to marry now must close his eyes in prayer also for God to guide him to make the right choice. It is only those who refuse to do this that make the wrong choices here & there. Jacob served 7yrs for Leah and an additional 7yrs for Rachael. Joseph, Moses, Samson, David, etc all paid dowry directly or indirectly. Primarily, love gives! – Jn.3: 16. And, how else can a man prove his love for a woman he truly loves without giving something sacrificial and worthy for her? What we don’t value, we always abuse! Even families who return cash envelopes labelled as ‘dowry’ back to their inlaws to be always collect other material items from them. Is it not an unnecessary show-off then? If Jesus paid the ultimate price for His bride – the church, why shouldn’t any Christ-like groom pay the dowry for his bride?
“And Jacob loved Rachel; and said, I will serve thee seven years for Rachel thy younger daughter.” – Genesis 29: 18
“And the king saud unto Araunah, Nay; but I will surely buy it of thee at a price: neither will I offer burnt offerings unto the LORD my God of that which doth cost nothing. So David bought the threshingfloor and oxen for fifty shekels of silver.” – 1Samuel 24: 24
“”Husbands, love yyour wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it; that He might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that He might present it to Himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.” – Ephesians 5: 25-28
